A Letter to write…

The art of writing letters is gone and dead in today’s world but there is a special someone i wanted to write a heartfelt letter to…

Letter

Whenever I am with you I realize how brave and strong I have been. It’s only you, who know my deepest fears and my strangest desires. No wonder whenever I spend time with you I feel the breeze of fresh air on my face suspended through the shape of smile on my lips.

Though there was a time I used to avoid you since you were always brutally honest to me… but the more I spent time with you more I started falling in love with u. I started loving the brilliant light of honesty in your eyes… whenever you spread open those dull grey shades kept hidden under the many forbidden  layers … I just could not resist admiring u.

I wonder when was it that i lost my touch with you and why on earth did i let that happen…Anyways, i am glad that i could find you again, as young as ever, as robust, as honest…and yess i like the new art that yo have cultivated…of seeing the fun side of every situation and you are right (as always) things, that otherwise look grim, start to look a little better and passing through challenging times becomes smoother with colorful glass of laughter and joy on the eyes of one’s heart.

So today I thought to just express my feelings to you… To let you know how great-full i am to get you back in my life and with a promise of not letting you loose again in the mundane myriads of today’s artificial world..Thank you for bearing with me, thank you for teaching me how to smile through the pain, thank you for making me learn from each fall, thank you for always propelling me for the best, thank u for just being my best friend.

With much Love and appreciation
My beautiful heart 🙂

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Have a Good night :)

Yesterday was a Monday in a long time that went quite well for me. I guess any Monday gone smooth is an achievement if you work in the corporate sector 😉 The mere thought of Monday morning starts creeping in from Sunday evening taking away some juicy slices of joy away from my lazy Sunday evenings!!!

Most of us can associate ourselves with Monday morning blues. And m sure none of us would like to start the week with that face or mood!!! So from past couple of weeks  i have been trying to  crack a way that can make the beginning of my week a little more colorful a little more enjoyable and a little more joyous!!!

So my little research and some efforts brought me down to a Good Night’s SLEEP!!! M sure many of you would have read about it since it is a topic on which so much has been written about… So i picked up few facts on good sleep and have been practicing them  from past couple of weeks and it has been working beautifully 🙂  I would like to share them with you all who are interested in having a lighter week and a better day-to-day life.

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Night Person Syndrome – To begin with i am a night person, i have always felt most active and most productive during the darkest hours of late night.So for a person like me, the thought of falling asleep early is like taking romance away from my life. Trying to make myself sleep early introduced me to a very different side of the lovely nights. Rather than focusing on the energy my mind starts exploding in the night, i started pushing my focus to my silent heart. I know it sounds weird but plz do try it to believe it by yourself…when your mind gets hyper active just try and curb that pang of energy for five minutes and push the focus on the heart. After a long day, the heart has lots that it wants to share but as we all have become so used to of locking our heart with our mind’s reasoning, the heart has long back stopped to even knock at our door. Plz give your heart a chance and give your brain the much-needed break in the night.

The heart loves to talk to the night, just lie down comfortably with dim lights just witness the conversations unfolding between your shy heart and the emotive and empathetic night!!! The loving strokes of night make the heart-break in silky whispers and you lose yourself in the warmth of that genuine conversation where the heart tells its side of the day’s story. And trust me the moment heart lightens itself in the lap of dark night,the night pulls the warm,smooth blanket of peaceful sleep without the mind even realizing it.

Mobile phone with pad and laptop
Mobile phone with pad and laptop

Oh I love my phone and my i pad and my laptop – Yesss, we all do…don’t we!!! It’s always advised not to use any of these glossy screens before hitting the bed. But the fact is when u hit the bed, the one thing u need most in ur hand is your phone,most of the time to aimlessly surf through it. Have you ever noticed the moments when your hands just go for that phone as if on an auto mode…it happens most of the time when we are not comfortable or are not at ease with the situation or with the person/s around us….Just pause for a moment and observe,we start fiddling with our phones in social areas where we do not know many people for ex – elevators,public transports,stations etc, we start fiddling with the phones when we want to avoid a conversation with anyone for ex – a mother trying to have a conversation with her teenage child, spouse discussing something you want to avoid etc….so if you really look at it half of the time we pretend to be working on phone when mainly we are trying to avoid the situation…..So why is it that the moments before falling asleep we have that urge to fiddle with the phone….does it mean that i am not comfortable with my own self or i am not ready to face myself hence ill pretend busy while killing time on phone waiting for ever alluring sleep to grab me by surprise but alas that hardly happens!!!

Night is a beautiful time to touch base with the REAL YOU, the you who always gets shadowed by what you think you must be, with what your family thinks you must be, the you your college,office,society expects you to be….Give real YOU a chance!!!PUT THAT GLOSSY SCREEN AWAY FROM YOUR BED!!! i know its difficult but it will take you only a week to get used to it. Keep it away from your range and let the heart and the night start their conversation through the course of which you will get to meet and know an amazing person…the real you!!!

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Music Helps – Yes it does! Of course not your current favorite number but there are so many beautiful music pieces available easily on net that are soothing to the ears and relaxing to mind, some of them made to help us  fall asleep…try them,they might do wonders.  Here is a link for one of my favorites if you wanna try…  – https://youtu.be/tw-dZJuaklk?list=PLlgsKnJXEjDfmyzXr5QMh_zJhfpU1SWNC

I am not saying its easy…it of course is difficult to change habits but trust me it’s not that difficult too, at least give it a try and if you can do it for 21 days i promise you will never go back to the old pattern. Do it because you must take care of your beautiful body because this is the only machine that will be with you till your last breath…so its only wise and practical to take care of this fabulous machine at least as much as you take care of other machines that you surround yourself with!!!

And as i am living it….a good night’s sleep is indeed a way to ensure a much better, brighter day since it keeps your mood in check and your sprites high to not get affected by the randomness of things,people and situations around us on which we hardly have any control 😉

Falling in Love

Gratitude

I had no plans of writing my blog today…but something happened that made me write this…
So i am in office, this week is a lighter week for me in terms of work, so since yesterday i am planning to write a blog post….So,this morning presenting me with a topic that i feel very strongly about and i thought why not jot my thoughts down…
So, though its about all of us but it started off with a normal conversation with one of my collugues in the morning. She is a bright,ambitious,cheerful girl in her late 20s. Good at her work and loves to talk 🙂 But today i got to see another side of her and that made me write on this topic.This otherwise chirpy,cheerful girl has so many things going wrong in her life and she was feeling very low. While listening to her, i drifted to my earlier self,the way i was couple of years back and i could so totally relate to her.
What i went through and what she is going through and a lot of us experience at some stage in our life is that phase where we start questioning our existence. A phase where you are doing a lot to keep everyone happy around you, you want to do things to keep your parents happy, you are doing things to keep your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse happy, things to keep your siblings,your friends,your colleagues…basically everyone happy. But why do we stretch ourselves to keep others happy…because somewhere we want to be loved and accepted by them, we want to feel loved, we want to feel wanted and we do all the pleasing, all the stretching to get that validation in other’s eyes…

But have you ever wondered why do we need this acceptance and this validation…That acceptance that we are searching out for in other’s eyes is actually the acceptance that we seek from ourselves. Have you ever observed how harshly we judge our own selves, we always feel we are lacking in something or the other, we feel no matter how much we do but its always less for other people…why do we feel like that…
The reason is self acceptance….since our childhood, we are trained in taking care of other people’s needs and wants …which is a very good practice and habit but we as a society fail to talk about the other half of the same sentence.. While loving and caring for other people is nice but it is equally (if not more) important to accept and love your own-self. And if you happen to be a girl,  that too in a country like India…then even the occurrence of  this thought to take care of oneself will bring guilt pangs to you….

If i myself would not love me, would  not like myself then how would anyone else would do and even if they would love me i would never be able to receive their love totally and completely since i would think at the back of my head that i am not worthy enough of their love hence i will start looking for validation of myself in other’s eyes and actions.

So no matter how far fetched this idea seems, but it is a good idea to start exploring oneself every day and then start falling in love with that person. Spend some time looking into the mirror and for a change just over look those flaws that always catch your eye and start to look for things that you like in your body, i can promise you, at the end of this exercise you will be surprised to know that how come you never noticed such lovely things earlier in your own body.

We always feel that we are being judges by others all the time but tell me how much time in a day do you spend thinking about others and their flaws… it will not be more than an hour  or two a day that your mind will wander on other people’s issues, most of the time you are busy judging your own self, you judge yourself with the eyes of others and then panic what they would be thinking…but the fact is others are also busy judging themselves, they also have their hands full while dealing with their own shit….So if you really look at it…its only us who are most harsh onto ourselves,others do not have that much of time….

So lets just take a pause and for a change, lets talk to ourselves about ourselves with love, for a change lets think what good qualities we have, for a change lets thank our own selves for being strong for being strange for being a super human for handling multiple things so well and lets for a change not look at that one mistake, that one slip of the tongue,that one quick reaction…Let’s for a change celebrate and love ourselves for being awesome…

Lets love ourselves so much that the validation from others will become an icing on the cake and will not remain a necessity to sustain day to day life…..And anyways don’t we all love the people who are in love 🙂 So lets be in love with ourselves always,lets celebrate our existence and let others join the party as and when they do…because love is infectious sooner or later they all are going to celebrate you with you… till then lets have a rocking party!!!!

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Dance it out…

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Dance…i have come to believe that i share a relationship with Dance. I know it might sound a bit weird or off but trust me this thought has not just occurred to me suddenly, in fact i have been observing my feelings about dance from a very very long time, may be from my childhood. And today i thought to just write about it…whatever i feel about dancing..so here it goes…

So when i was a young child, i was a terrible terrible dancer to an extend that i would freeze at my place if anyone would ask me to dance. And all this in a society that thrives on ‘singing and dancing’. Since a child is born to an old dead body’s funeral, in my humble country you will find an occasion to celebrate each day of one’s life (isn’t it awesome, i love this fact about my country :)) Its not that i did not like to dance,i really really wanted to dance, dance brilliantly but somehow just could not even lift my foot. Then i tried to dance in a locked room in front a mirror and Oh God, seeing my body move was not a good sight…today i wonder how come a child trying to move her body not look cute… but well at that point of time to me that was the ugliest visual…and of course that was the last i tried to dance.
Then started a game of hide and seek with so many occasions in a family to attend (at least 1 in a month) i would be excited to go out but the moment music will start i would like to hide in a corner so that no one would ask me to dance….This continued till i finished my school!!!

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Today, though i am not a professional dancer but i am able to move my body on the beats and feel the groove of rythem making its way through my body. I would be the first one to run to the dance floor in any party and look forward to dancing, today also i dance in a locked room in front of the mirror but love the way my body soaks the music in and let the music express through it….How this change has come ..well, i don’t know if people would be able to relate or understand but i think there is a very strong reason behind this change.

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Unlike many of us and like many of us at the same time, my childhood was not that great. My parents were not a very cordial couple and fights,cold wars and accusations is what was all around me…mostly… but please it does not mean that i do not have good memories, in between all that madness also there were beautiful moments that we all shared with each other, those sunshine smiles and twinkling eyes of US is how i choose to remember my childhood now 🙂 since i have worked a bit hard to erase what did not give me joy then, also i do not want its memory to take even a single second of my life today and ruin that second…so i just erased those parts and trust me, life is much more beautiful post that.

So coming back to dancing, since when i was a child, my heart and mind were not free, they were soaking in the tension around ,brooding on the cold wars, my body could never respond to music..in fact my body would become extremely uncomfortable with the music because music would have direct effect on my mind, easing it out and my body would feel out of place unable to comprehend these new vibes that my mind would start projecting and in confusion it would just freeze!!!

So slowly, as we all learn and as we all move on with life, i started to let go of my baggage. Started to forgive my parents, started to forgive myself  and i would be very honest that it was not easy. Most of us do not realize it but children are really sensitive and they pick up even the most subtle of emotions…and those bad feelings attached to those heavy emotions remain with them for long…a lot of time even when they grow up… and then it reflects repressively in their behavior. How they treat people around them, how they look at things happening around them and most of all how they treat themselves…One of the hardest things is to be able to forgive the people who have hurt you directly or indirectly, it does not come easy, one has to put in lot many efforts and and after a considerable time when you cross that first phase of forgiveness,where it does not come from within that you must forgive but where you try to push your thoughts with great difficulty and get into an argument with your mind and convince your mind that you want to forgive some one,stand strong in front of the strong arguments that your mind and ego will throw at you,trust me it is difficult and only thing that will keep one going through this phase is WILLPOWER…and if you are lucky and persistent enough,after crossing the first phase it will become a smooth sailing.

The moment you have been able to forgive someone,the after taste of that glorious victory is so wonderful and addictive that you would always choose forgiveness from then on. The kind of peace and freedom that will suddenly surround you will have such a strong force that yo would question yourself why did you not forgive earlier…i believe till the time one has not forgiven people one chooses to live in a jail that one has built around oneself and the tragedy is  that one does not even know that one is living in a cell imposed prison!!!

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The burden that my mind, heart and eventually my soul was carrying for so many years, started to ease out as i started to learn the art of forgiving people. Or may to put it in different words, the more easily you take life the more in sync you become with life. And that sync brings a sort of easiness and lightness in existence… and when you feel light you would love to shake a leg at all times 🙂

Many people let their anger and the feelings they find difficult to express release through dance, dance is a medium that helps to express the inexpressive emotion. The emotion that was keeping you choked, through dance will find a way to move out from your body, from your mind and eventually from your life. So whichever way works better for you, either choose to live lightly and with willpower let the things go away that are weighing on you and enjoy a good dance to celebrate the freedom, to celebrate the lightness of life or use dance to express and release all that is weighing you down and breath in the fresh air with a smile on your face and no burden on your shoulders 🙂 Have a dancing weekend!!!

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Random Rendezvous with “Desi”Roots

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Well, i wanted to post this article at the beginning of year but thanks to my busy schedule (read my lazy behavior) i am able to put my thoughts down almost after 7 months…but as they better late than never 🙂 So like every new year’s eve,the last evening of 2014 would have been the same usual,catching up with friends and family affair for me. But as i was very much adamant  to welcome 2015 in a little different manner and i also had a budget constraint (since the prices of  everything on those dates shoot up),me and my friend thought to go and experience a ‘real village life’ that will be a different experience, might not be very expensive and also we will get bookings since very few people opt for such experiences during the time of new year celebrations.

Sounds so exotic,at least it did to both of us  and the icing on cake was that “Runn Utsav” was also happening during that period. Its a cultural festival hosted by one of  india’s most culturally rich states Gujrat,where they spread out their most eclectic mix of  traditional dances,singing,handicrafts and food. This festival culminates on the full moon night of December…wondering why full moon 🙂 Well, runn of kutch is the largest salt desert of the world and is one the few things shared by india and pakistan both, apart from poverty,corruption and oversensitive emotions about religion 😉

The moment we came out of Ahamdabad airport, it was a drive of around 2 hours to reach the heart of Kutch. The drive in itself was a beautiful experience with our small. little jeep zipping through on an empty highway and vast desert on both sides of us. The weather was cold and rough cold breeze was gushing through my face like waves. Honestly though i was quite excited to see something that i had never experienced but this feeling was mixed with pangs of fears that arises when you are about to do something that you have never done earlier and specially if you are two young girls getting into interior india with no cell phone network and no hotel reservation. So with these mixed emotions we finished our drive….. and were pleasantly surprised at out destination.

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In the middle of those barren lands,suddenly there arises a most beautiful,colorful village from out of no where and a very warm welcome by our hosts 🙂  I could not take my eyes off from the women folk of the family with who we were to  spend the next four days of our life.  It was like as if all the colors available in nature were having a party together on those lovely clothes adorned by the women of the house, such varied hues,varied mix of shades… and to add to my nostalgia those pretty attires were clubbed with equally amazing traditional silver jewelry.

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Post catching some breath from such lovely display of all things beautiful i let my senses drool on the rustic,earthy scenery that was available to the inhabitant of this place. Cute little mud huts and in front of them in the open space,there were handmade beds,called ‘charpai’ in local language,with such fascinating bed sheets on them that you will forget to sit on them! The most amazing place for me here was the kitchen which had ‘mitti ka choolah” a kind of stove mainly used in earlier times but still is used in some parts of rural areas.

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Next morning we headed for the great runn of kucth…and the visual was breathtaking. once there, i took first few minutes to let the surroundings sink in my heart,i gazed deeply at the vast white span in front of me for as long as i could without blinking, just to take in as much as i could…trying to make a movie in my mind and store a file of it in my heart and wished that i could play it again and again later whenever i wanted. The place gave me an opportunity to be able to listen to my own heart beat,to be able to feel the sensation that my skin feels with a gust of chilling breeze. In that moment all i wanted was just to be with that barrenness,with that whiteness and with that vastness…feeling every inch of myself as if along with the place i was exploring  my own self too!!!

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When i had a chat with Nature :)

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Mother Nature…yes, we call her our mother but i don’t know how many of us have really treated her as a mother…OH wait a minute..in fact most of us treat her exactly how we generally treat our mothers….someone we always expect to give something to us,someone that must always be available for us whenever we want but only when WE WANT else she must not be hindering our day to day life. Someone who is just always around,without getting noticed,someone who is ever giving without any expectations and someone we all have always taken for granted!!!

My love for nature is not very old,i have always been quite disconnected with the nature. But i guess this connection has something to do with the connection that you share with your own self. So, i feel with time as i started to know myself better and started to accept myself and eventually started falling in love with myself suddenly my heart and eyes started noticing the breathless beauty that always surrounds us. And with that knowingness i started to crave to know and see this beauty from as close as possible and what better way to explore our breathtakingly,beautiful, vast mother than TRAVEL!!

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And here i am,on a small little island surrounded with bay of bengal – Andaman. The moment i stepped out from port blair airport,lovingly stroking breeze welcomed me 🙂 This small town serves as a base for most of the travelers who want to explore the interiors and lesser seen natural beauty around the bunch of tiny islands in andaman and nicobar.

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Havlock is my favorite among all the places i saw in andaman and nicobar. The moment you step into this island,you are totally taken over by a thin layer of stillness that shields the entire island. The vibe is very welcoming and the moment you enter this island,  you let go of who u r and you just imbibe the vibe of this island which is of just being and admiring nature at its best…just the sense of being in that moment. The people of the island are the biggest mirror of the energy that the island possess and reflects on you too…mild,happy faces,polite and carefree spirit, as if everyone is here with a purpose of enjoying themselves, the people and the nature both. The beaches have some stunning colors falling on them through the day as the sun shifts its position. From varied hues of green to many layers of blues with gold and silvery streaks of the sun falling of this vivid water. Wherever you see here, you will get a feeling of observing a  very artistic and tasteful painting with minute detailing.

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If you wish to have a close rendezvous  with the nature then you can opt for scuba dive or sea walk or both just like me 🙂 The waters here are abundant with marine life. The entire process of getting in the water and then down in deep sea is an experience of a lifetime in itself. Taking those gentle strokes in the sea along with millions of tiny,colorful fish and touching some of the most exotic corals and sea rocks is a never forgetting experience for anyone. Since it is not possible to describe the experience or feeling in words i thought, let the pictures do the talking:)

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Fully energized with vitamin SEA i took to the other magnificence  that these beautiful islands have to offer –  dense and thick layers of rain forest. So, this was my first ever visit to any ‘real’ jungle. These jungles are the habitat of many tribes, the most talked about tribes are Jarawas, sentinelese,onge and nicobarrese. Out of these sentinelese are the ones with least contact from outer world. I was fortunate enough to spot a few Jarawas during our drive to lime stone caves. It was a long drive through the thickest of forest…to describe my experience in words all i would say is ‘u do not talk when in a jungle,you listen to it’. It was one of the most enchanting drives in my life where the only company was the breeze bristling though large trees and their innumerable leaves and branches,the sporadic sounds of various kinds of birds and some of the most colorful butterflies roaming on that thick layer of greens.

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The last site that i visited were the limestone caves,honestly when we decided to go there i did not have much expectations but trust me this visit turned out to be the best surprise of the entire stay To touch those million of years old stones,to walk through the narrow passage with stone walls on either sides is one of its kind. I can still feel the musky smell of the place with each stone carrying a saga of time and standing still!

So all of you who wish to steal few moments and venture into the heart of mother nature Andaman and Nicobar must be on your list 🙂 I feel as if i got a warm hug from mother nature by visiting these islands. Do share your experience if you have been there and for those who would be planning this visit i wish them bon vouage 🙂

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