Dance…i have come to believe that i share a relationship with Dance. I know it might sound a bit weird or off but trust me this thought has not just occurred to me suddenly, in fact i have been observing my feelings about dance from a very very long time, may be from my childhood. And today i thought to just write about it…whatever i feel about dancing..so here it goes…
So when i was a young child, i was a terrible terrible dancer to an extend that i would freeze at my place if anyone would ask me to dance. And all this in a society that thrives on ‘singing and dancing’. Since a child is born to an old dead body’s funeral, in my humble country you will find an occasion to celebrate each day of one’s life (isn’t it awesome, i love this fact about my country :)) Its not that i did not like to dance,i really really wanted to dance, dance brilliantly but somehow just could not even lift my foot. Then i tried to dance in a locked room in front a mirror and Oh God, seeing my body move was not a good sight…today i wonder how come a child trying to move her body not look cute… but well at that point of time to me that was the ugliest visual…and of course that was the last i tried to dance.
Then started a game of hide and seek with so many occasions in a family to attend (at least 1 in a month) i would be excited to go out but the moment music will start i would like to hide in a corner so that no one would ask me to dance….This continued till i finished my school!!!
Today, though i am not a professional dancer but i am able to move my body on the beats and feel the groove of rythem making its way through my body. I would be the first one to run to the dance floor in any party and look forward to dancing, today also i dance in a locked room in front of the mirror but love the way my body soaks the music in and let the music express through it….How this change has come ..well, i don’t know if people would be able to relate or understand but i think there is a very strong reason behind this change.
Unlike many of us and like many of us at the same time, my childhood was not that great. My parents were not a very cordial couple and fights,cold wars and accusations is what was all around me…mostly… but please it does not mean that i do not have good memories, in between all that madness also there were beautiful moments that we all shared with each other, those sunshine smiles and twinkling eyes of US is how i choose to remember my childhood now 🙂 since i have worked a bit hard to erase what did not give me joy then, also i do not want its memory to take even a single second of my life today and ruin that second…so i just erased those parts and trust me, life is much more beautiful post that.
So coming back to dancing, since when i was a child, my heart and mind were not free, they were soaking in the tension around ,brooding on the cold wars, my body could never respond to music..in fact my body would become extremely uncomfortable with the music because music would have direct effect on my mind, easing it out and my body would feel out of place unable to comprehend these new vibes that my mind would start projecting and in confusion it would just freeze!!!
So slowly, as we all learn and as we all move on with life, i started to let go of my baggage. Started to forgive my parents, started to forgive myself and i would be very honest that it was not easy. Most of us do not realize it but children are really sensitive and they pick up even the most subtle of emotions…and those bad feelings attached to those heavy emotions remain with them for long…a lot of time even when they grow up… and then it reflects repressively in their behavior. How they treat people around them, how they look at things happening around them and most of all how they treat themselves…One of the hardest things is to be able to forgive the people who have hurt you directly or indirectly, it does not come easy, one has to put in lot many efforts and and after a considerable time when you cross that first phase of forgiveness,where it does not come from within that you must forgive but where you try to push your thoughts with great difficulty and get into an argument with your mind and convince your mind that you want to forgive some one,stand strong in front of the strong arguments that your mind and ego will throw at you,trust me it is difficult and only thing that will keep one going through this phase is WILLPOWER…and if you are lucky and persistent enough,after crossing the first phase it will become a smooth sailing.
The moment you have been able to forgive someone,the after taste of that glorious victory is so wonderful and addictive that you would always choose forgiveness from then on. The kind of peace and freedom that will suddenly surround you will have such a strong force that yo would question yourself why did you not forgive earlier…i believe till the time one has not forgiven people one chooses to live in a jail that one has built around oneself and the tragedy is that one does not even know that one is living in a cell imposed prison!!!
The burden that my mind, heart and eventually my soul was carrying for so many years, started to ease out as i started to learn the art of forgiving people. Or may to put it in different words, the more easily you take life the more in sync you become with life. And that sync brings a sort of easiness and lightness in existence… and when you feel light you would love to shake a leg at all times 🙂
Many people let their anger and the feelings they find difficult to express release through dance, dance is a medium that helps to express the inexpressive emotion. The emotion that was keeping you choked, through dance will find a way to move out from your body, from your mind and eventually from your life. So whichever way works better for you, either choose to live lightly and with willpower let the things go away that are weighing on you and enjoy a good dance to celebrate the freedom, to celebrate the lightness of life or use dance to express and release all that is weighing you down and breath in the fresh air with a smile on your face and no burden on your shoulders 🙂 Have a dancing weekend!!!